this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
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What are red flags you look out for in a relationship? (piefed.social)
submitted 3 days ago by OpenStars@piefed.social to c/AskUSA@discuss.online
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Rather than put my answers, I will leave space for you to jump in directly with yours:-).

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[โ€“] Alice 4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

People who seem too desperate for approval too soon after meeting, ie the person who asked if I thought they were "problematic" and "a bad person" for their taste in media after our first date.

Maybe it's because of my own mental health history, I have OCD and I've engaged in that behavior before too. If I'm with someone else who does it I'm liable to relapse and it turns into a two-person misery spiral. Maybe someone a little healthier could just reassure them and move on, but I'm not there yet.

Also, I don't date anyone who just got out of a relationship. Their ex will change their mind and take her back and I'll look stupid ๐Ÿ˜ญ

[โ€“] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 3 points 2 days ago

That reminds me of scammers that make the initial contact egregiously obvious so they only get the most gullible. Like the person is fishing for the people that will put up with their worst behaviors. Or anchoring problematic to innocuous behaviors to diminish "problematic" in the future. Could be intentional or subconscious. Good red flag to have.

[โ€“] OpenStars@piefed.social 3 points 2 days ago

Codependency is rough, absolutely. Sometimes we need to focus on ourselves before we move onwards,.:-)