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Another reason to leave Reddit: I forgot how hostile it can be (self.chat)

submitted 1 year ago by xray to c/chat

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I've mostly left reddit and switched to beehaw, but I posted on somewhat of a niche tech-related subreddit today since there really isn't a community for that here yet. And wow, I got instantly downvoted twice and the first comment response was rude and hostile. All I posted was a feature suggestion for software that I thought would be useful and that a good amount of people would like based on other feedback I've heard. This is not the sort of topic that should be controversial or aggravating, and it wasn't like I made an ignorant post suggesting a feature that already existed or otherwise wasn't well researched.

This type of instantly hostile response has happened numerous times on reddit for various different topics, but I just haven't posted for a while, so I forgot just how shitty it can feel. It makes me really appreciate how friendly and respectful the community is here on Beehaw and on Mastodon. People seem to have good faith in one another similar to how the internet used to be in the old days.

Have you had similar experiences with Reddit and similarly opposite experiences here on Beehaw/Lemmy?

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[–] Ignacio 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

For reasons I already pointed out several times (and which I don't mind pointing out again), I had severe anxiety and rejection sensitiveness when I wrote comments on Reddit, fearing their responses. Sometimes those fears were correct, and sometimes don't, but the fact that I suffered those things was enough to feel myself in danger. Twitter, Reddit, all was the same shit regarding interaction with other people.

Since I joined the fediverse and became more active, those fears were lowering. That, and the fact that I'm taking medication for my ADHD. But a good environment and friendly human interaction help too.

[–] NekoRogue 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Are you me? I felt the exact same way. Then if it hurts, you have to hide those feelings too because people will make fun of you for being "too sensitive." "It's just the internet, get over it." Rejection sensitivity is real and it sucks. I quit commenting on Reddit because of that. I never understood why people think the internet isn't a real place, so it's okay to be cruel. We may be somewhat anonymous here, but we're still people with feelings. If you're mentally in a bad place, little things can really feel big. They add up.

I recently got on meds for my ADHD, too. It's helping me a lot, I hope you're having good luck with yours too. :)

[–] Ignacio 2 points 1 year ago

You absolutely didn't have to show your feelings, that would have made things worse. And no, it's not just the internet, it's the fucking real life, and the internet is one part of that real life. People should behave on the internet in the same way they behave on the street with other strangers, especially when those strangers have disorders or disabilities.

My medication seems to be working, but it's really hard to tame. It's atomoxetine, and I think that says a lot.

[–] juni@skein.city 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This very much resonates with me as well. As someone with anxiety issues, it's the reason why I almost explicitly lurked on Reddit. But I feel much more comfortable conversing and contributing to the fediverse (especially Beehaw) due to how friendly and conversational it is comparative to the mainstream, proprietary social media sites.

[–] Ignacio 1 points 1 year ago

I was a chronic lurker on Reddit. I remember only posting on r/r4r, r/ADHD and r/StratteraRX most of the time. I don't remember having posted on any other subreddit. About commenting, the sample was wider, but still not significant. Two years on Reddit and 2800 karma. Fuck karma.