VoltasPistol

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[ A large table laid with rustic-looking breads and an ornate tea set is interrupted by the unexpected presence of a curious cat. The table covered with an undyed rough canvas-like table cloth and upon it lays broken pieces of fine white bread torn from unusually-shaped loaves in the background: Wide, flat, and disk-like but absolutely massive, as wide as seat cushions. They have decorative stamped impressions on them of saucer-sized spirals, making them look quite fancy. Some bread chunks are on a plate that matches the fancy tea set, other chunks rest directly on the cream-colored tablecloth in the foreground. There are two teacups, partially filled with tea, with their matching teapot slightly farther away from us. It is white porcelain with large gold flourishes painted on it with smaller black details-- An oddly expensive looking detail when compared to the rustic look of the room with uneven mud-colored stucco walls that are bare save for a window where blindingly bright morning light pours in, with rustic-looking clutter on the windowsill and the faint outline of a door on the opposite side. Surveying the scene is a white cat with black spots, it’s front paws cheekily resting on the tablecloth so we can only see it’s head, chest and paws peeking up from it’s hiding place. It’s expression seems unimpressed by the grand spread of food, but one paw is stretched slightly forward and tensed, and it’s eyes are fixated on the bread loaves, leaving the distinct impression that the cat does not intend to remain a passive observer much longer. ]

Image transcription for the visually impaired:

[ A pale horse rears upwards. It has a cream-colored mane and is outfitted in highly ornamented riding gear in black, orange, and green. The horse's head is flung back dramatically, it's mouth grimacing against the bit in it's mouth, it's dirty yellow teeth bared. The bottom half of the horse is obscured by a tight-pressed crowd of casually-dressed people, their hands reaching towards the panicking animal, creating a sunburst-like effect, or perhaps like the foam of a crashing wave. It's long mane flies wildly in the breeze as it emerges from the sea of people around it. The sun beats down harshly in the foreground and most people in the crowd are wearing short sleeves that reveal suntanned arms, sunglasses and hats can be spotted in the crowd, in the very front people seem oblivious to the panicking animal, creating a sense of unease about how the next few moments will unfold. In the background, the tightly-packed crowd is cast in deep shade, pressed against a dirty and mildewed stucco wall, creating a pleasing contrast to the brilliant white form of the horse but also creates a sense of claustrophobia because it is not immediately apparent where people would escape to if the situation is not handled correctly. Barely visible to one side is a formally-pressed man in a black suit with a traditional riding helmet, he does not seem panicked. You can also barely see that the ride on the horse's back has not fallen off, their foot is still in the stirrup, suggesting this is all a part of some elaborate show and no one is in actual danger after all. ]

We got over a thousand subscribers overnight, and it's still rising. I'm not going to complain because yay numbers go brrrrrrr, but our most popular post only has 370 upvotes so is it a glitch?

Hi!

So I put in my username, my password, I watch the bright red login button go spinny for a couple moments, and then I get this screen, where it tells me I am Schrodinger's Logged In. Logged in, but also not logged in.

It seems to work in Chrome, but I very much prefer using Firefox for privacy reasons. :)

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[ A young and handsome man, with a reddish beard and long blond hair sleeps on a couch, wrapped in a green blanket. At first the photo appears as if he is standing with his eyes closed, saint-like, but closer inspection reveals that is is in fact napping on a grey sofa and the photographer snapped this photo by holding the camera above him. His form is almost entirely obscured by the deep folds of the green blanket, the only parts of the man which are visible is his face, a few fly-away strands of long blond hair escaping the place where the blanket has formed a hood, his reddish beard, and his bent left arm which rests in a loose fist on his chest. The lighting is soft and the scene feels vaguely religious, reminiscent of paintings showing a dead Christ before resurrection. ]

Image Transcription:

[ A chaotic scene unravels as a dozen or more people sit, kneel, and lay down in a room that has been waterproofed with clear plastic tarp over a white and deep-red background. Tomatoes, tomato skins, and tomato pulp fly freely in every direction as attendees attempt to cover their eyes or flinch as tomato flies into their faces. Simultaneously, many try to fling tomatoes back. Most appear to be laughing with glee, though some appear to be taking their facefulls of tomato with a calm resignation. Everything is in soft focus and tinged with pastel hues. Everyone's white clothes are tinged slightly orange from the pulp as the cloth clings wetly to their skin, their hair matted to their heads-- There is hardly a single inch of the scene that does not contain some smear of tomato innards or a sticky tomato seed or two. Highlights of the image include a man on the right wearing a tall chef's hat hands upraised to shield his face as he twists away from us. A skinny young man wearing a red bandana on his head lounges with his bony legs facing us at the center of the picture, his face twisted into a puckered grin. Beside him kneels a young woman wearing a black halter top, her face obscured by wet locks of dark messy hair. Towards the back, a woman wearing a very large floppy red hat appears to be having tomato innards smooshed into her colorful headgear by a man who might be entirely nude, though the details are obscured by the chaos of the scene and the orangey, fleshy tint of everyone's formerly pristine white clothing. ]

[ a man faces away from the viewer, hands on his hips, while in the foreground burlap bags full of onions are heaped high, the interior looks very old and is made primarily of wood ]

[ A landscape photo featuring tall mountains jutting out from a rolling landscape under a darkly-lit sky, save for one shock of sunlight in the upper right corner where dark clouds have parted. The rolling hills and the foot of the mountains are richly hued, a deep green in some areas, a dull greenish brown in other areas, all the way to a rust orange in the section closest to us, where the bare earth is revealed, studded with smaller rocks. To the far right of the image is an outcropping of another mountain, bathed in deep shadow. ]

[ An unkempt individual with messy hair sitting on a park bench embraces two pigeons with their eyes closed and wings stretched out, two additional pigeons on either side seem startled and confused ]

[ A young woman with striking features gazes directly at the viewer, she is wearing a white gauzy broad-brimmed hat topped with starched eyelet lace, and her dress is made entirely of more eyelet lace gathered into chaotic-looking ruffles of all sizes and arranged asymmetrically. Her dark blonde hair cascades down one shoulder in tight waves; one the opposite side, a white Anthurium flower is pinned. There is a second woman in the photo, glancing away from us, but she is almost totally obscured by the subject. The image is cropped closely so there is not much background visible but it's dark and a similar color to the subject's hair, creating a pleasant color harmony. ]

Image Transcription:

[ A Tibetian woman clutches what appears at first to be a bunch of small white flowers, but upon closer inspection, it's the white plugs of PC power supplies dangling below her rough, well-muscled hands. She is wearing a yellow hat tied under her chin with a faded white scarf and has a traditional but ragged Tibetan-style jacket tied around her waist. It is sky blue with yellow trim. A pair of dark pink gloved hands reaches in from outside the frame ready to receive the PC parts, and a figure wearing a similar color bends over facing away from us in the upper right hand corner. Everyone appears to be standing on and among stacks of brown cardboard boxes. The background is unfocused but appears to be industrial scaffolding. ]