Cunts
this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024
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instance name checks out
Found the Australian
In New Zealand of all places!
They wish they could be our western island.
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y'all
Y'all doesn't get enough love. It is gender neutral and extremely versatile.
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A lot of people use “folks” for plural.
I feel like “guys” is fairly un-gendered but people disagree with me. Personally, I haven’t used the word “guys” to refer to anything male in what seems like forever.
“Bud” and “fella” are good singulars.
I used to have a maths teacher who called almost every number "guy".
"And this guy goes to zero, while this guy goes to infinity!"
I really, really wish we could degender "guy" and "guys". I know plenty of people of all genders that use the words in general to describe people, objects, concepts, everything. The only holdouts are people that insist on it specifically meaning males. Ironically, these people are often the hardcore feminists.
If other English words can change their meanings and be claimed/reclaimed by certain groups, why can't others?
Take guy! Use it to describe whatever you want! Free it of its historically phallic shackles!
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I’m AFAB enby, saying “you guys” and calling me “dude” is fine. Those to me aren’t gendered anymore. The people who get offended at general terms like these for groups of people need to touch grass.
But if you’re dead set on it, embrace y’all lol. Just don’t say it with a southern drawl and you’ll be fine. It’s a fantastic gender neutral term. You can also just train yourself not to add in the “you guys” to the “what’s up” phrase, and maybe just say “what’s up with you?” “What’s up with you all?” Etc.
"Offended" is a bit of a strong word.
Many trans folks are, understandably, bummed out when gendered terms that refer to their AGAB are used to refer to them.
I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to avoid causing that brief moment of dysphoria. That just feels like a thoughtful and kind thing to do.
It’s good that OP means well, but also there are so many of us who do not care and are not affected because we know the speaker is using a generalized term and isn’t (usually) being malicious with it. I call several of my cisgender girl friends “dude” and “bro” and I’ll call men “girl” as a joke sometimes (like, girl what are you doing?). Many of these terms simply have completely lost their original gendered meaning in a lot of contexts.
That's great, and it's nice that you don't have to deal with that jolt of dysphoria in those situations.
I'm simply saying that it's also common (and okay) to not be entirely comfortable with those terms. Especially from strangers or acquaintances.
I don't think seeking to reduce the linguistic pattern of male as the default is a misguided effort.
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Comrade.
☭
Try the following for groups:
Hey folks, how's it going?
Listen up assholes!
Greetings, gumshoes
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"Foolish mortals" is my go-to gender neutral form of address
The simplest approach is to accept language is inherently gendered, and at a certain point it is exhausting to either take offense to everything or walk on eggshells.
I’m southern, so I use y’all almost exclusively lol
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What's up, cunts
Works best if they're your friends and also you're in Australia
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Everypony.
An oft overlooked option that leaves no one indifferent.
Mortals
Meatbags?
All the alternatives make me cringe.
If someone is insulted that you use the term "guys" for a group, they're not worth being friends with. That's a lot of exhausting mental energy to deal with. Ignore 'em and move on.
'round here "guys" has become gender neutral. But "folks" is my go-to.
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Meatbags.
Y'all
I love “y’all”. It is one of the only things that Texas was way ahead of the curve on. It is gender neutral, easy to say, grammatically correct, and has such a long history that it doesn’t sound forced or intentionally PC.
Y’all is the way. Y’all is the future. Peace, y’all.
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Folks or Everyone tend to be my go to.
Earthlings is the only valid option
folks, y'all, youse
friends / friend
comrades / comrade
Guys is 100% gender neutral.
Also, can't go wrong with the old standby "Stay Fresh, Cheesebags!"
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Fellow kids
Is buddy really a problem?
I'd be more worried that someone thinks I'm treating them like a dog, than a man.
You're asking about a collective and also a singular...
Just in general I'd say that if you're trying to quit a habit around trans women, go the extra mile and quit it around cis ones too. For the collective "hey guys" I have no one-word replacement ("folks/folx" sounds equally southern and somehow more cringe), but you could replace the whole phrase with "hey everybody", "hi gang", "how are you all", or just "hey".
When speaking to any woman, I would advise against calling them "dude" or "man." Full stop. No further thoughts necessary on that one.
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cousins
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friends
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y'all
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neighbors
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folks
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party party people
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fellow-travellers
and, of course
- fam
I just omit the unnecessary words or use their name. That works OK, although I'm awful with names so usually it just becomes "Good job!" or "What's up?".
Funny story time: in English I find this is not so bad. In French it's worse. In Vietnamese it's awful. We have dozens of pronouns. They're not only mostly gendered, but contain information about their age and perceived status relative to you. It's a 3-dimensional matrix where the axes are approximately gender, age/hierarchy, and degree of relation (inlaws/blood relations/strangers). You even get a different word for yourself in some of these situations. Then sometimes there's a numerical rank inside each pronoun e.g. male uncle, my spouse's family, 3rd oldest.
The language is already at maximum pronoun burden. Honestly it would just be easier if we called each other 'human' or 'comrade' or 'citizen' or something equally encompassing. It's exhausting as a non-native speaker (and you are not ever allowed to use their names, that's considered super rude).
"Mate" is always a good option, I wish it's used more universally in the States, too.
I bit the bullet and was the cringy person at work who said "peeps". After a few months of do this, it was amusing to see the word spread until my boss's boss started saying peeps in meetings.
Fellow bipedal meat-things.
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