Chat

7498 readers

4 users here now

Relaxed section for discussion and debate that doesn't fit anywhere else. Whether it's advice, how your week is going, a link that's at the back of your mind, or something like that, it can likely go here.

Subcommunities on Beehaw:

AskBeehaw

This community's icon was made by Aaron Schneider, under the CC-BY-NC-SA 4.0 license.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

remington

alyaza

Men, how do you show affection to your male friends? (self.chat)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by earthshatteringkboom to c/chat

15 comments fedilink hide all child comments

As a man in his 50's who grew up in the southern US, I rarely saw men showing any outward affection to their platonic male friends. Sure, you'd see a congratulatory pat on the butt playing sports, but that's about it.

Interestingly, before that back in the 1940's and 50's, men were much more outwardly affectionate toward each other. I assumed the change was mainly due to societal pressures about homosexuality and the "hugging is for sissies" mentality. In the past 20 years that pendulum has swung back again and you see it more often.

So I'm curious what it's like in your friend group? Are you uncomfortable with it? How do you tell your friends you love them? Or do you?

Edit: to clarify the title

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] DiachronicShear 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Millennial here, graduated college in early 2010s and my college buddies and I have always been comfortable with each other. We've always hug, always say we love each other, have been comfortable crying with each other. Just open with each other. My wife says she's never met a group of guys that do this so naturally. I know it's not normal but I'm glad it's normal for me 🤷🏽‍♂️

[–] iamhazel 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Not a guy but shared a house with five dudes in college and we all shared the good and bad together. They were with each other as you described. But they were all actors / singers / a dancer / in theatre so they're probably not falling into the 'normal' part of the distribution either, lol.

Edit: this reminded me of a super wholesome video I saw recently where the interviewer just asked random men to call a bro and tell them they love them and I couldn't stop smiling! Nobody seemed uncomfortable just good vibes. This was somewhere in UK (?) not US though.