LastoftheDinosaurs

Given your background and interests, I recommend starting with Ubuntu or Linux Mint. These distributions are user friendly for those transitioning from a Windows environment. Setting up a dual-boot with Windows would allow you to maintain your current setup while exploring Linux. Both Ubuntu and Linux Mint have guides to help you get started with dual-booting.

For getting started with Home Assistant or trying out large language models, I'd recommend Docker. You can keep these services separate from your systems files if you install them in container.

I use the Catppuccin theme for everything. Here's a list of apps they support—maybe you use some of these already?

Loving the light/dark mode suggestion! It ties in perfectly with the deeper accessibility features I’m developing, especially for users with ADHD, autism, and sensory sensitivities.

I'm starting with the Catppuccin color palette for uniformity across the platform. High-contrast modes will be designed to support various types of color blindness, ensuring the platform is navigable for everyone. Color adjustments will be tailored to enhance readability and interaction for conditions like Deuteranopia and Monochromacy. Additionally, all interactive elements will comply with WCAG 2.1 AA standards, ensuring they are keyboard navigable and screen reader friendly. If you want to see how slick this can look, especially on Amoled screens, check out this interactive demo of Catppuccin on TailwindCSS. It’s smooth and totally aligns with the 'gucci mobile view' you love!

And hey, if you’re down, I could really use a hand turning these ideas into reality. Your insight could be just what’s needed to make sure everything clicks just right. We both know how unique our learning and thinking styles are, and getting your perspective would be invaluable, especially since this project is all about creating spaces that adapt to individual needs.

Seriously hyped to possibly collaborate with you on this. Let’s chat more and see how we can shake things up together =P

Thank you for opening up and sharing such deeply personal parts of your history. It really resonates with me, as my relationship with my dad evolved in ways that are both similar and distinct from yours. While my father also had a strict and intimidating side during my early years, much of that was influenced by my grandfather, who pushed him to be that way. However, as I grew older, our relationship changed significantly.

During my teen years, my dad shifted from that authoritarian figure to someone I could genuinely connect with. He became the "cool dad," and our bond strengthened as he started to reverse course on his earlier strictness. He let me throw parties at home, mostly when he wasn’t around, and often came home to a house full of people. It was wild, lots of weed, alcohol, and yet he mostly took it in stride. He even had a jar full of condoms in the kitchen at one point, not that I needed that many, lol. It was his way of showing trust and support, which went a long way in healing the wounds from his earlier parenting style.

While my dad and I grew closer, my grandma and mom were always kind and supportive figures in my life. Their warmth balanced out the harsher moments and gave me a sense of stability.

I really understand where you’re coming from with the complexities of deciding when to reconnect or when to maintain distance in those relationships. It’s never easy, but I hope that sharing our stories can help us both feel a bit more understood in our journeys.

Hahaha, I totally get what you’re saying about the running beat, there’s definitely a call-and-response vibe there, and it’s cool how different things like that can connect us. Running really is a great way to stay grounded, and it makes sense that your military friend finds that connection through it, even if their music choice leans more electronic. Structure can be a real challenge with ADHD, so I totally relate to the need to mix things up. I’m always craving change, too, whether it’s taking a different route or just switching up my routine, it keeps things interesting and manageable.

As for being on-call, yeah, it’s definitely a grind. I was supposed to be paid extra for that, but the company never followed through, and I only found out about the legal requirements after I’d already moved on. By then, I was just glad to close that chapter and didn’t care too much. But it’s frustrating how companies try to squeeze out as much as they can without fairly compensating people. I completely agree with the idea of pulling off dual gigs, stacking cash, and investing to get ahead of the rat race. If you’re looking into that, you might find this community really helpful.

You’re spot on about the two camps with ADHD—either needing all the information at once or wanting it in clean, bite-sized pieces. That balance is definitely something I’m focused on. I’m aiming to create a design that caters to both needs, making sure the content is organized, clear, and easy to navigate, especially on mobile. It’s frustrating when you’re trying to learn something and the design just gets in the way, so I’m putting a lot of thought into keeping things as clean and readable as possible, even without “reader” mode.

I totally get why you like PieFed. Clean design makes all the difference, even with a few quirks. As for the job market, yeah, it’s rough out there, but I’m ready to flex my experience. You’re right, sometimes you’ve got to use whatever edge you have to make things work.

But honestly, it’s not about the money for me. I have a real passion for Linux, which is going to be the main focus of the website at first. With ADHD, I know how tough it can be to learn, everything I know is self-taught. That’s why this project is so important to me. I want to create something that makes learning easier for others like me. I’m committed to keeping the website free for everyone, and I’m looking into applying for grants to cover the costs so that it stays accessible to anyone who needs it.

Thanks, I agree, it's always been abusive, even in the 90s. My grandparents were the ones pushing him to do it, though. I remember overhearing a conversation between one of my grandparents and my dad when he was taking me to an alternative school one day. He actually pushed back on them, saying he didn't want to do it. I saw him cry once when I asked him why he does it. He had a worse childhood than I did. My grandpa used to call him "fruit" a lot. But yeah, he clearly had ADHD and didn't know about it. He had this whole system where he would write down anything he didn't want to forget and he'd just cross it off the list as he got around to it. I saw my name on the list and crossed out once, lol. He never threw punches or anything like that. He'd just grab a belt after work if I got into trouble at school that day. There were more good times than bad; that's why I always lied to CPS for him. I loved my dad and still do. It's one of those situations where his dad was really abusive, he was kind of abusive, and I've sworn to never be like either of them. I've been compared to some Chaotic Good characters, and this is where the "good" comes from, I think. I decided early on to try and do what's right regardless of what other people think due to the dynamics between my father and his father.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell turned into "Don't Ask, Don't Harass" once Obama got into office. I thought that was pretty cool. The structure was the best thing for me, honestly. I've been trying to recreate some of that, but it's been hard. Like just now, I went for a run around the neighborhood like I used to do right after getting out of the military. It's kind of dumb, but this is my favorite cadence to run to. Your left foot is supposed to hit the ground when they clap. It helps you forget about running.

The burnout was due to being on-call while simultaneously being underpaid. I wasn't allowed to really go anywhere because if I missed a call, then my backup would get called, and that always seemed to cause issues. I had to work all day, and my evenings were usually filled with emergencies too. Many nights I'd be stuck on a bridge for 6+ hours when I should have been asleep because some service went down and it was all hands on deck until service was restored. After my dad died, and right as the pandemic was starting, I quit my job and basically took an extended vacation for the next 8 months until I felt back to normal. The next job was a dream come true, but it was temporary because I was on a 12-month contract (the contract got renewed once, so it turned out to be a two-year gig). I had another job after that which wasn't a good fit, but I'm fully committed to DevOps-type work. I'd love to be a manager though, maybe I'll look into that. Anyway, I could never get burnt out from this type of work because it truly is my passion. I'm planning to get two jobs this time and work both of them simultaneously. It's called Overemployed. I've also started an educational website tailored for people with ADHD. It's going to be gamified in a way that makes learning easier for people who have a learning disability. I was thinking I might apply for a government grant too just for some extra cash if I qualify. Tech seems ageist to me, but only because my coworkers have always been older than me.

I'll check out those links you sent me. I'm mostly fine, just dealing with RSD from ADHD. It's all in my head though. I'm trying to get over it with exercise, but I may have just gotten the push I need to really make a change. Those are just statistics, and I don't feel like they apply to me. I've had plenty of counseling and training, and I know myself very well. I'm in a really good place mentally despite the hardships. Doesn't mean I don't struggle sometimes. I'm just lonely, not suicidal, ya know? Thanks for the concern, though.

And I'm not old yet =) You be well too

I love embracing change, but there are some things I still find challenging, particularly when it comes to forming close relationships. A lot of how I react and behave today is shaped by my early experiences. Growing up, ADHD wasn’t well understood, leading to harsh and toxic reactions from my own family. Facing constant verbal and sometimes physical abuse meant I had to learn how to defend myself from a very young age. This environment forced me to develop a quick, strong response to conflict—a mechanism that's become a part of how I assert myself today. Even though I've grown a lot and tried to adopt healthier ways to handle stress, my defiant nature can still emerge when I'm under pressure. This often leads me to push people away before they can get too close, as a way to protect myself from potential hurt or betrayal.

Recognizing and working through this is a big part of my journey towards healing. I’m trying to understand these behaviors and, hopefully, change them for the better. However, it’s been a struggle to shake the feeling that I might not be capable of being truly loved, given how ingrained these defensive responses have become. My journey through life has been marked by significant challenges that have both shaped and tested me:

As a child, I faced severe misunderstandings about my ADHD. This chaotic environment, marked by multiple interventions by Child Protective Services (CPS), taught me to be fiercely independent and self-reliant. These qualities, while helping me navigate many of life's challenges, have also made it difficult for me to form close personal relationships.

Due to these experiences, I find it challenging to follow instructions or requests without fully understanding the reasons behind them. This need for clarity and purpose is deeply rooted in my early years, where confusion and lack of understanding led to significant consequences. If I don’t see the logic or purpose behind an action, my immediate response is to question or resist it, a defense mechanism developed to protect myself from the unpredictability I faced during my formative years.

During my teen years, I faced continual challenges with acceptance both at home and at school, which eventually led to legal issues and incarceration. However, my release from detention became a pivotal moment for me. I met mentors who guided me toward a more positive direction, ultimately inspiring me to enlist in the Army.

My early to mid-20s brought some stability through the structured environment of military life. It was also during this period that I began sharing my life with a partner, learning about balance and mutual support in a relationship. While I had no problem getting close to others, my challenge often came in the form of defiance, a trait deeply rooted in my need to assert independence and protect myself from past vulnerabilities.

As I transitioned into my mid to late 20s, I moved into civilian life and pursued my passion for technology. This phase was crucial in building my self-esteem, as I found success and fulfillment in my career. However, my personal life sometimes struggled to keep pace due to my guarded nature, which often made me hesitant to fully open up in relationships.

My early to mid-30s marked a period of career advancement and significant life changes, including a major move supported by a new job. This time allowed me to establish myself professionally, but it also brought personal challenges. The death of my father and the impacts of the pandemic were profound, testing my emotional resilience and forcing me to confront and manage new waves of grief and stress.

Recently, I’ve dealt with professional burnout and personal loss, prompting a move back to St. Louis for a period of reassessment and new beginnings. This has given me a chance to reflect on my life and the patterns that have defined my relationships. Each chapter of my life has taught me about resilience, adaptation, and the importance of staying true to oneself. My life hasn’t been easy, but these experiences have shaped me into a more resilient and empathetic person. I'm still learning to navigate the complexities of love and intimacy, hoping to one day fully believe that I am worthy of being loved just as deeply as anyone else.

I started going to therapy, but then I lost my job. I'm planning to go back ASAP.

You're wrong on this one. I've seen the math, and it's better than that.

Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool—oh wait, that's just dissociation 😉

128TiB, which is about 3k movies with I think 20+ shows. Some of the files are over 100GiB though.

I think so. This is my first time being medicated as an adult, and I've had the same experience as OP. I have a new ability to focus but still need to learn how to use it like everyone else.

Media server: Jellyfin, qBittorrent, Radarr/Sonarr/Lidarr/Prowlarr, and OpenVPN/Traefik/WireGuard

Misc: PiHole, Vaultwarden, HashiCorp Vault, and FreeIPA

VMware ESXi for the VMs, but I'll be switching to Proxmox soon.

All running in Docker or Podman containers on their own VMs. I'm trying to automate the deployment and configuration of each of these services via pipelines in GitLab CI using Ansible and Terraform right now. I also have a couple of Kubernetes clusters for testing and dev stuff on this server.

Accessed via SSH or an NGINX reverse proxy. I'm using certificates where possible, but a lot of the traffic between VMs is still unencrypted. I'll eventually force everything local to use Traefik, but for now, only a few services are using it.

There are a lot of projects on awesome-selfhosted and selfhosted that I've been meaning to get around to installing. Home Assistant and AdGuard Home are two of them.

OpenStack has a really good Ansible hardening project for securing servers that I try to always use. I also have a Red Hat developer license, so I try to use their OS when possible because of their FIPS and other security profiles. Some services just don't work with any of the newer RHEL versions though, and I usually fall back to CentOS Stream or Ubuntu whenever that happens.

This is a great idea. I didn't see a Linux subway yet, but the process for requesting new lines seems pretty simple.