this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2023
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The title says it all, i saw something in the beehaw tech community about explaining the downfall of RedHat like drag community beef. So, let's keep the joke going uwu. What happened with Russia and the Wagmer Group and the sudden stop if Wagner's advance?

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[–] z2k_@lemmy.nz 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine you're a drag queen named Prigozhin, and you're the boss of a private security company called Wagner. You have a lot of skills, resources, and ambition. You also have a shady partner named Putin, who runs the biggest show in town. He hires you to do his dirty work, like sabotaging his rivals, spreading rumors, and even invading other clubs.

One day, he asks you to take over the biggest club in town, called Ukraine. He says it's his rightful territory, and he doesn't want anyone else to have it. He promises you a lot of money and power if you succeed. You agree to do it, because you trust him and you want to prove yourself.

But things don't go as planned. Ukraine is well-defended, and the other queens fight back. You start to lose men and money, and you ask Putin for more support. But he doesn't give it to you. He says he has other priorities, and he tells you to deal with it yourself.

He also sides with his managers, Shoigu and Gerasimov, who run his official security team. They don't like you or your shady tactics, and they want you to follow their orders. They tell Putin to drop you, or else they'll expose his secrets. Putin agrees with them, because he doesn't want to lose his reputation or his control.

But you're not happy about this. You feel stabbed by Putin, and you decide to get even. You gather your loyal followers, and you launch a surprise attack on Putin's headquarters. You want to take him down and take his crown. You think you have enough support and firepower to do it.

But you're wrong. Putin has more allies than you think, and they come to his rescue. They stop your advance, and they make you retreat. Putin also gets help from an unexpected source: Lukashenko, the owner of another club called Belarus. He offers to mediate between you and Putin, and he convinces you to give up your coup attempt. He promises you a safe haven in his club, and he says he won't press charges against you.

You accept this deal, because you have no other choice. You don't want any more bloodshed or scandal. You also want to get away from Putin for good, because he's become too much of a traitor. You go to Belarus, but you warn him not to mess with you again.

Putin survives the coup attempt, but he’s not unscathed. He loses some of his credibility and popularity among his people and peers. They start to doubt his leadership and his judgment. They wonder if he’s losing his edge or his mind. They also see that he’s not bulletproof or unstoppable. They see that he has weaknesses and enemies.

You try to act like nothing happened, and you carry on with your business. But deep down, you know that things have changed. You know that you have to watch your back more than ever. You know that the drag community is not as loyal or united as it seems. You know that there's always someone waiting for their chance to snatch your crown.

[–] TerryTPlatypus 2 points 1 year ago

Oooh, good run!

[–] z2k_@lemmy.nz 1 points 1 year ago

You're Putin, the boss of the streets. You have a lot of cash, guns, and respect. You also have a snitch named Prigozhin, who runs a crew called Wagner. He does your dirty work, like whacking your enemies, spreading lies, and even taking over other hoods.

One day, you want to own the biggest hood in town, called Ukraine. You think it's yours by right, and you don't want anyone else to have it. You send Prigozhin and his thugs to mess it up, hoping to make the other gangs bow down to you. But it doesn't work. The hood is tough, and the other gangs fight back. Prigozhin starts to lose men and money, and he blames you for not backing him up.

He also beefs with your lieutenants, Shoigu and Gerasimov, who run your official army. They don't like Prigozhin's shady moves, and they want him to follow their orders. They tell you to drop him, or else they'll rat you out. You agree with them, because you don't want to lose your rep or your power.

But Prigozhin is pissed about this. He feels stabbed by you, and he decides to get even. He gathers his loyal soldiers, and he hits your base. He wants to take you down and take your spot. He thinks he has enough support and firepower to do it.

But he's wrong. You have more allies than he thinks, and they come to your aid. They stop his attack, and they make him run. You also get help from a surprise source: Lukashenko, the boss of another hood called Belarus. He offers to make peace between you and Prigozhin, and he convinces him to quit his coup attempt. He promises him a safe place in his hood, and he says he won't press charges against him.

You take this deal, because you want to end the drama fast and smooth. You don't want any more blood or scandal. You also want to get rid of Prigozhin for good, because he's become too much of a problem. You let him go to Belarus, but you warn him not to mess with you again.

You survive the coup attempt, but you're not untouched. You lose some of your cred and popularity among your people and rivals. They start to doubt your leadership and your judgment. They wonder if you're losing your edge or your mind. They also see that you're not bulletproof or unstoppable. They see that you have weaknesses and enemies.

You try to act like nothing happened, and you carry on with your business. But deep down, you know that things have changed. You know that you have to watch your back more than ever. You know that the streets are not as loyal or united as they seem. You know that there's always someone waiting for their chance to snatch your spot.