Iβm good, how are you?
this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2023
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Asklemmy
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"No it's fine. I don't mind."
Iβll do it tomorrow.
I wish this comment wasn't so relatable.
Or even βIβll do it in an x amount of timeβ
Iβll do it after 3 hours. Iβll do it in the evening. Iβll do it in 3 days.
I lie on the internet fairly regularly as weird precaution to make myself less identifiable. I donβt want any of my accounts to link to eachother, let alone back to me
Approved. Just make it a good and enticing story. I don't care so much if it's true π
Thatβs my sentiment as well. I take everything I read with a grain of salt, so should everyone else. I come to comment sections for entertainment, not facts.
I'm a big fan of the super obvious lie. It makes people think you're really bad at lying, and they overestimate their ability to detect your lies, so they let their guard down.
"I'm a boy"
The fact that this is a common lie for me might mean that people I talk to don't believe it either.
I hope one day you are able to live your truth. β₯
"Thank you for shopping here."
Like seriously there's like one grocery store in this entire small-ass town and this is it. Not like you were doing me a big favor.
I also just don't give a shit if you shop elsewhere. Whether you shop here or elsewhere won't change my less-than-living-wage paycheck, thank you very much.
At work, I oversimplify things to the point that they're no longer strictly true all the time.
It's those lies like how bards and storytellers do it.
And I know I am bad at it, but I practice so I could be a storyteller to a degree when I will need it.
"I'm working on it"
That depends. Do exaggerations, errors in perspective, adapting to others' perspective, and literary devices count as lying? If we're talking classic lies, I don't remember the last time I did that if I ever did. If we're being more broad, though, you could say I beat around the bush a lot. Shame is a terrible attribute in society. People often ask about my mental health, how I'm doing, the quality of my day, and so on. Things along those lines. And I don't want to say "well I existentially don't care" or this kind of thing happens, so I say stuff like "I'm top of the morning" because I don't have to betray what's below the surface.
I actually lied for the first time in about 3 years just few days ago.
I had an appointment and at the front desk the clerk asked me wether I came there by car (do I need a parking permit) to which I said no even though I did but I left it further away so that I don't need said permit. Funnily enough the person I came to meet then asked me the same thing to which I sad "Yeah, but I left it further away" and I'm quite sure the clerk heard me so.. ..yeah. That's why I don't lie.
The previous lie before that when a beggar came asking wether I had any cash to which I said no even though I did. Again a completely pointless lie.
"I am a happy and engaged employee "
I like to tell "sexy" lies, like "I just had sex", or "people want to have sex with me"
People do, you just don't know it
I'm just joking, but I appreciate the positivity
Alright
"They're not in the office right now, can I put you to their voicemail?"
Lie I tell most often: βI'm fine.β
It is easier to do, and easier on the conscience to lie by omission, so that's the kind of lie I do most often, which is mostly to smooth things over in social situations.
Rather than telling the truth, which would require me to talk about my mental health and current state, and face possible stigma, I'd rather just lie about being fine.
I'll get on it as soon as I finish this job
So I guess "blatant" is the type.
I don't lie to anyone except my employer. They are not owed any explanation or insight into my personal life, and personally I feel that that is the only acceptable instance for me to lie at this point in my life.
Circumstances change, but I generally try and lie as little as possible.
I have done a lot Enough for today I am tired I need to rest I should shut my eyes
... more screentime on unproductive content
I embelish for effect.
I often joke that my job mostly "telling cunts how fucked they are".
Sometimes I'm just not feeling it, so I fail to tell someone how trully fucked they really are, even though it's probably important that they know.
It's a lie of omission.
"Good morning". Nothing good in me having to wake up at 5:30 and dealing with nincompoops actively trying to poison themselves and their children with Tylenol or whatever.
"I'm fine."