Don’t you fucking tempt me
The Onion
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
To quote the article,
just do it—do it right now.
Ok fine. Wait I don't have a PS5 and now I don't have a job. Dang it.
You can come use mine and I'll use you as inspiration to quit.
You can come use mine and I’ll use you
🤔
There are stranger way for two people to get together. And bump-intos with coffee cups and piles of paper are worn out.
Please don't tempt me, I am barely holding on.
I've made it 9 months since I quit.
Lotta chicken and rice but I thought I'd take my retirement before I die in the food wars
Bruh, I aim to the water wars. That's starting next year, I believe.
I've been jobless for around 2 years now because of depression and shit, finally got back into working and I hate myself for not starting up my world of warcraft career back up. I could be a wow king by now 🙃😂
As someone who is currently neglecting their offline life again becausenof that game (Classic Hardcore goes brrr) - be glad that you didn't :D
I've done that before. When I quit I stood in Orgrimar and gave out 10,000 gold to everyone who asked. That was a shit load of gold back then, although it might not be now. But I completely changed the Azeroth life of a dozen or so people.
If that doesn't work there's always plan b: drinking yourself to death
If only I had a PS5...
The guy in the picture is not playing FIFA. If he was he'd be frowning and smashing his controller
I don't think anyone playing any game has that expression on their face while playing.
Nintendo Australia has captured the face when playing perfectly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIJODMsYbkc
The silent pain of existence.
The real TotK experience is spending 10 minutes creating an overcomplicated vehicle with the slightly fiddly controls, before accidentally hitting it and watching it zoom off into the distance...
I'm almost asleep and was trying real hard to understand the real TikTok experience...
Good night
You have never seen someone play Animal Crossing or Stardew Valley have you?
Definitely do this, except replace playstation with heroin.
Por que no los dos?
Because depressants will make you suck at video games. You gotta get into stimulants to combo with gaming. On the plus side, if you get into meth or crack, you'll have the energy to hold down a part time job and full time gaming addiction for a few months before you start to come apart! Then you'll have a few more months of just cracked out gaming after you get fired before you're evicted. If you're lucky and steal some wifi, you could eek out a whole year of 40+ hour gaming weeks of erratic, aggressive high level play. You'll set random records. You'll birth new slurs to yell at children. You're not gonna accomplish any of that on heroin. You're really gonna let people down on heroin.
This comment was wayyyyy too palatial.
Tempting.
Literally what I have been doing since last month. I made it a bit more challenging by going on a vacation for a week too.
Amateurs.... I have been doing this for more than a decade. Thank you Satoshi
they should have called me for research, i actually tested this one when the technology was PlayStation(TM)
In this economy that's 3 weeks. I'd rather call in sick.
Super tramp manual lvl 1