Stole it off of reddit
Hey some of us are autists that somehow evaded a diagnosis and therefore any kind of supportive treatment or therapy. We're doing our best OK?
this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2024
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I'm that lonely guy. One friend, love him because he stuck around when my mental health was at its worst. Eventually I finally got a psychiatrist, my first one, who told me most of my toxic negative attitudes and behaviors were stemming from my mental illnesses. It took a couple years to get through therapy and monthly psychiatrist appointments but where I am now is... Well still pretty awful but at least I can give my best friend the space he needs, and function without the anxiety and panic attacks that were caused by overthinking every single message or lack of message. My medication regime is strict and full of pills, but hey, doing better then I was last year. I can't forgive the people who left when my mental health got out of control but I do understand why they made their choices. It hurt and made my depression a lot worse. The only thing that kept me sane was my last friend. He stuck around and helped. Im still lonely and want more friends, but it's a slow healing process. More friends might make the social anxiety worse, or it might help. Not really certain I wanna flip that coin. Taking small steps though.
Whelp that's enough oversharing with complete strangers. Have fun everyone!
I'm copying this from a comment I made on a thread about ghosting people.
I ghosted someone I knew on Discord. They were exceptionally clingy. Like message me four times a day, every day, without me messaging in between. Message me the second I get online. It was so annoying. Constantly asking me if I was mad at them after I didn't answer them immediately. Even after I told them I wasn't mad and not to think I am if I don't answer. I told them so many times that the only thing that was annoying me was them thinking I was annoyed when I don't answer immediately. Just so so pouty all the time. I couldn't handle it.
I took a break from Discord for other reasons and when I came back I just ignored them. I couldn't handle it anymore.
From the way other people talked to them on servers and things they said, I get the feeling this is a common pattern with them. They start to make some friends, then get super clingy and sobby if you don't answer them right away and people get frustrated and stop talking to them. Which sucks, but, I'd told them so so so many times exactly what they were doing that was annoying me and they never stopped. It's so infuriating for someone to just be so sad about something and for you to try and tell them in no uncertain terms "I'm not mad at you, but when you think I am mad because I don't answer right away it makes me annoyed. Just stop that. That's all I'm upset about."
It's a bad habit, to revolve your world around a single person. Desperation and lack of self-confidence is hella unattractive, in any type of relationship.
A mistake that I luckily did not make, ever, not once.
I had lots of these situations on Steam.
I played a game, liked my time with a player, and they'd send me a friend request. But then it was daily messages about what I was doing, when I would play again, and often some sap story about why I'm important to them.
This was a constant thing that kept happening.
Met a guy at the local boardgame event. Got to talking about how he was always driven out of gaming groups and nobody invites him anymore and a lot more of "oh woe is me" stuff. I recognized a bit of my younger self in him and how used the same schtick to get sympathy and social interaction before I learned how toxic this behaviour is. I wanted to try and mentor him out of this self-defeating behaviour so I invited him to my place.
When he came in treated my family like a complete asshole. Couldn't make them suffer for one dude.
I used to be like that of wanting to mentor too. I wanted to help others get to where I'm at. Apparently a lot of these folks are serious energy vampires and I am always left mentally exhausted.
Kinda need to wake up to their own BS.
I'm the dude with no friends because of the BPD relationship spiral.
Meet someone new. They're cool. Like them. Hang out all the time. Start to hate everything about them. Leave/Drive them away. Meet someone new. They're cool...
im the second picture...
Perhaps you might be preying upon a vulnerable person with your "friendship".
Thus far you have milked them for imaginary internet status points. What a friend.
Two weeks ago, I saw the loner at the table of an event. Went to go talk to them because they were alone for a while.
In less than 10 minutes, they made a offensive joke that would have insulted half the people here, and complained about their living situation unprompted.
Idk why in imagining them telling a version of the aristocrat's and then saying, "So anyway, that's my roommates."
Now I want to know the joke
The guy made a comment about women and minorities about if I was just trying to meet a DEI quota.
He said this to me, a person of color, at a tech event where according to the census, 60% of Engineers are white.
Bold move
Maybe he is a want to be racist. Not actually racist enough to avoid you but racist enough to make nasty jokes.
IDK man, the people with no or few friends tend to be weird but not really bad in any meaningful way: socially awkward, shy, odd interests, neurodivergent etc. Difficult to get to know, plain and simple. People with a lot of friends are often worse people, manipulative and/or have a transactional attitude to relationships
The people with no or few friends tend to be weird but not really bad in any meaningful way: socially awkward, shy, odd interests, neurodivergent etc. Difficult to get to know, plain and simple.
*Raises hand*
awkwardly high fives raised hand
Alone together
When I was in high school there was only one kid with no friends and he was racist
Damn, wish the racists at my high school had no friends.
At least he wasn't the popular kid
Same. It was in the Tennessee suburbs so there was actually a lot of racism, but dude was like, Klan level racist, and that's just rude.
And when it's not any of those cases then that person has a horrible pattern of behavior. I've learned this lesson way too hard.
I used to be the guy that knew everyone, introducing my friends to others, and others to others.
These days, I have maybe 2 friends.
The good friends I once had believe everything they see on Facebook.
I just couldn't anymore.
It’s the risk you take. I’ve met some of the most interesting people this way. If you go into it with an open mind and understand that usually it’s not going to work out, you’ll be better for it.
I think the times we befriend loners and it's goes positively are easier to forget than the times we go out of our way to try to include someone only to find out that they're toxic to be around.
not to brag, but i've graduated from not befriending friendless people to driving away friended people who try to be friends with me
less people, ~~less~~ fewer drama
*fewer
thanks new friend! fixed
Perfect lmao
Fewer people, less drama (other way around)
Fewer would only be used in this case if drama was plural. Fewer dramas vs less drama
I was referring to fewer people lol.
Really though the jury is kind of out with fewer/less in a lot of situations, but a strict rule would probably say "fewer people, less drama". The real contradiction is "15 items or less", which should really be "15 items or fewer" but the former is so well established now it won't go away.
Anxiety sucks, or is there different reasons why I don't have irl friends?
Domain checks out
Yeah I'm deleting this. Not comfortable with what I said based off a "few people I know"
yeah, I'm the person 🙈
The person going "Ewww this person is toxic" or the other side?
the other side. the toxic or boring one or whatever it is