Jerk your buddy off for him since he can't do that right now
this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2024
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Nothing says you care like a no-homo handie.
OP never said they were a man. Maybe it's a no-hetero handie.
Let's maybe just leave that to his wife. Or his mother.
Than one day he had an accident, they had to amputate his arms -- and he was sad that day. Yes he was sad that day. He can't surf, he can't skate and he sure can't masturbate no more.
Cleaning service, any house services really, freezer meals, or other little to no prep foods, offer to play with their kid from time to time, help them relieve stress by unburdening them (by taking on chores), instead of providing an escape (video games)
Edit: not dissing video games, but a young one and another on the way is a lot of stress already.
I hadn't even considered cleaning services or meal kits. Those are a fantastic idea! I'll reach out to his wife and get her input.
Iβm constantly overwhelmed with no broken arms, and just 1 day a week for someone to come in and βreset the messβ is incredible. You should probably talk with his wife and have the βthis person is giving you time to do things that prioritize your familyβ talk, because some people can feel cleaning service is admitting failure in keeping up their home. (Also her talking with the kid about not treating this as an excuse to be messy isnβt bad either)
That's a bit of a biased opinion on video games, huh? Maybe some, but certainly not every game and definitely not every gamer is about escapism. Some people destress and chill out with games because they have other responsibilities like kids, work, etc...
I'm in complete agreement, but with two broken arms, they aren't going to be helping much with house chores (depending on how much mobility they actually have), and having those things done will actually allow for downtime.
Game thought: DDR?
help them relieve stress by unburdening them...
Uhhhh what are you suggesting here exactly?
i would get him a cheap violin and a bag of individually wrapped candy
Calm down satan
theres so many terrible possibilities though!
You don't give your friend a thing, you give his poor wife something. A bidet goes so long and pregnancy itself is hard.
Seriously: Offer her to do some chores like shopping, gift them some take-away gift cards,etc. The situation will put a serious strain on their relationship,
A Jump rope
/s
Firstly, my sympathies for your friend's horrible situation
Secondly, don't let him near anyone's mother.
In all seriousness, if you want to be helpful the best thing you can do is spend some time with him in person. He can tell you what he needs, and you can show him you care. If I got seriously crippled like this I probably would start thinking that none of my friends will make time for me because I have become a burden. Prove that nasty self-talk wrong!
Sadly I'm 3 timezones away.
Oh no.
Me who is 51, active boarder (skate, snow, surf, downhill) since the mid eighties, and has never broken a bone, reading this:
I miss r/neverbrokeabone
Didn't you just win a medal for GB?
If you meant for going bald, then yes.
That made my month. Thank you for sharing!
keep winning those medals, man!
A beer helmet!
Anything that makes him want to masturbate. Oh, wait⦠you were trying to cheer him up.
Ngl I was considering a suction cup fleshlight as a gag gift but his wife would kill me
wait they make those?? I bet the suction cups don't hold up. do you have a link, I think I'll need to test this for myself, for science.
Rubikβs cube
A long-handled scratcher. For reaching places that the casts are now not going to allow his arms to bend towards.
His arms are also going to get itchy AF inside those casts.
And for shits and giggles, get him a few rubber model cockroaches to stuff down inside those casts the day of their removal. Or really, any small rubber insect that is disagreeable to most people.
My friendβs wife just broke her arm, so I sent her this: A Farewell to Arms: The Hemingway Library Edition
The bidet was a very solid choice. As generally privacy oriented as I am, I have no alternative. What about an Alexa + Audible?
Gimble vice and a fleshlight?
A life alert button as a joke
Maybe 1-2 USB foot pedals? There's gotta be at least some games that only really require two buttons (assuming PC), all I can think of is OSU! off the top of my head
A hacky sack
Dance mat controller for his console/PC
microphone and setup windows voice commands